Work, and the such.

I'm taking up free sketches through deviantART, and hope that helps me get back into sketching; I did some sketching, and did an adorable sketch of Renee from Magicus Quest... but my arthritis keeps acting up (even with typing, and I type fast, not to mention ALOT); so this would be good practice, especially because my inspiration likes to hide away from the centre of my focus, when I take out the paper, and pencils.

I am also still regretful to say, that I still have Steven's request for getting my 1027th (my brother, Samuel's, birthday) pageview; and Jenny's anime self with Juunanagou from DragonBall Z; to work on.

It's not that I've forgotten, or don't want to; it's more the fact I've been unmotivated, and situations in life aren't going in a way I'm comfortable with. However, I'm forever grateful to Stevie, and Jenny, for being so understanding; and to my other good friends, for being so patient with, and supportive towards me through this. *hugs to y'all*

Thanks to Yv's report; I've found that there's unfortunately an htm bug on our webserver... damn it... and the worst thing is, it spreads into all the pages; so I have to figure a way out to get a rid of it - without having to re-upload everything, because we don't have copies of all the files; thanks to some of them getting lost on the old family computer, which was literally melted in the fire.

Regardless, my brothers, and I, still plan on working on getting our CTM homepage back online; and hopefully get our projects up slowly... not too slowly, but we can't rush them either.

...I'd also like to get back to working on manuscripts, for the graphic novels; and for the untitled sci-fi novel, which I've really been wishing to work on lately.

17th Journal Post | 17th Life of Misfortune

All right, so I haven't been writing in my art journal a whole lot... I know, bad me... but whatever, I've been dealing with alot of stuff lately, so you honestly can't blame me that things online are becoming more, and more less important to me. I am, however, trying my best to keep contact with my good friends, at least; while I slowly find inspiration for my artwork, writings, and other projects.

Today, Mom brought me, Samuel, and Robert, to see her teacher/therapist, whom is a psychic expert (also known as a mystic) - laugh if you want to, but these truths do exist; and I'm well aware those whom are ignorant (not to mention, afraid, and jealous) will put it down, because they don't (or is it, they don't want to) understand.

Anyways, the lady is very nice; we've already met her before, although, this is the first time her, and Sam, spoke to one another (and that Sam actually got to see her in person, because the other times Sam stayed out while visiting with Mom - Mom would take us to come over once in a while, and let us sit out in the beautiful garden area)... and she's advised that Mom bring us three with Mom to see her again, because she does want to help us feel better, have more confidence, and work through the troubles at home.

The reason for my title of this journal is because I noted that, with this journal entry, I'll have seventeen journal entries... along with that, the lady told me that my fear of fire (which was greatly weighted on, thanks to the kitchen fire in November back at my old house) stems from other past lives (she said sixteen) where very similar trauma happened to me. The fear of blood also came up for me, and she told me that I've unfortunately had alot of lives with trauma in them; including head injuries, falling, and war scenes (so, I've been a warrior/soldier... that is somehow suiting me) - and by counting this life, it would count as my seventeenth life with trauma (relating to fire).

...I actually do remember some things from past lives, including one where me, and my Mum were sisters, out in New York. That life strikes me as rather happy, and Mom would draw sketches for me, of that life, from what I would tell her about it; back when I was sick/recovering from surgery in September (also, around the same time Mom bought me Soul Calibur III, for us).

The lady also said some very interesting, and befitting, things about my brothers, as well... however, I think that's up to my brothers for them to write, whenever they want to (or if they don't, it's perfectly fine)... and I admit to being lazy, in that I don't want this to be too long of a journal entry. ^^;;

Closer to Spring

Well, it's March, so that means that the Springtime is coming up soon; as is St. Patrick's Day, and Easter. :)

I've added a few more links to My Profiles section; because I've been joining up on various art sites... the only thing that makes me feel a little out of place, is that most of the users on these other sites, usually put deviantART down; and that would be my most favourite, because of my friends being there, and that I've been using it ever since I was fifteen (although, my current account is not as old, because I wanted this screenname, and to start over anew).

I don't have much else to say right now, other than I should get to replying to everything in my inbox over at dA... I'm beginning to feel overwhelmed again. :P

Change of plans?

Don't ask me about the title... it just sounded good in my head. :P
Only things I have to honestly change is my sleeping patterns, for Saturday, because am supposedly going out with the family to the beach (tour of the Lighthouse).



A new sketch image I did of Raphael, I talked more about it on dA; of course... umm... and I was originally unhappy with the background, but myemolilteddybear made me feel better about the background. ^.^

Next, I'm probably going to be sketching up the pictures for myemolilteddybear, and Steven... I originally had an image finished up for Steven, but I decided to rather use it for Darken Rahl; since it's not what Steven wanted anyhow (Stevie just wanted a character concept type thingy, I think).

...speaking of Darken Rahl, I feel disgusted for ever having feelings for him; because I found artwork of him on dA, explaining more about him in the books - and God, Darken is such a horrible monster, I want to vomit... I admit that, however, I still admire Craig Parker's portrayal, and his good looks - but Darken Rahl is a monster. Period. I'm just glad that the things he does, can't be shown on television. *shivers* :(

That would make Raphael my number one 'love' alone, then... okay, well, there's Link; but somehow, I think of Link as a brother/cousin figure, since he's so adorable like that. ^-^

I have called Raphael, and Amy, 'long-lost' cousins, only because of the kindred feeling my brothers, and I, have towards Raphael, and Amy... although, both me, and Sam, have feelings for the Sorels, so... as long as it's far-off distance (and no blood relation to Amy, anyways); then I'm fine with it. XD

(My SC character, Shadowmitsu, aka Sha-mitsu, has no relation to the Sorels; except for occasional running into them... but yeah, I'm not too much into fanfiction anymore, other than re-writing one old DBZ story, and writing a few SC/Tekken stories, in my spare time...)

Umm... hmm... I've been listening to The Police, and Sting, alot lately; with my brothers, Samuel, and Robert... never realised how much we could enjoy them. :) Hehe, and now, we're joking that we're all going to bleach blond our hair (with me getting a haircut), to be like The Police. XD

When it comes to music bands that inspire us to perhaps pursue a hobby/side-project as a music band; Styx, and The Police, are our number one inspirations (well, that's not counting other musicians, since I was only meaning music bands, lol).

...it gets hard for me to write entries on here, since I'm easily distracted, hehe. ^^; I'm half-watching The Police: Message in a Bottle, which Robert is playing on his PS3, via YouTube. :D

...and before, I was listening to Sam, talking about how Dennis DeYoung personally manages his own official homepage, and that it's much nicer than the official Styx homepage! ^____^

...plus, checking out Yv's Juunanagou's HangOut site, which she just got back online today. ;)

Reminds me... I'm still working on some sites of my own, like I got a new layout up for My Hero Link fansite/fanlisting (still gotta re-write sections, and work on it more); and am slowly working on sections of my own art site. X_x

*yawn*

...

Mmph... I want to write lately, preferably for the sci-fi novel, my brothers, and I, are working on... but other things, too... it's just hard to get all of us working at the same time, since there's a lack of motivation around here...

I have been thinking of some poetry I could write; although, it's somewhat... sad, and dark, in nature - but I don't like writing poetry like that, even if it's more 'real' to me; because I don't want to have any reputation associated with dark writing at all.

I am NOT an angsty person; in fact, I've become much more optimistic as I become a young adult... perhaps I think too much, I've heard others say that before about me; but if my folks say I'm 'wise'; and my own mother trusts my judgement so much, and looks up to me; then I guess I'm not as childish as I thought... damn growing up. :(

...

...darn, too many distractions... I should just finish this right now, and write another entry, when I can focus again.

...status...

I couldn't think of a title, but I guess since I'm updating on how I've been, I guess this fits... plus, it's the Fn blue word under F2, on my keyboard; which I happened to stare at, a moment ago...

I'm taking a break from dA, although, I admit out of habit, I did check it... argh... but anyways, at least, my brother, Sam, got to upload some new cosplay pictures over at his account (~White-Angel-Of-Death) - it would probably make more sense if you went to his journal on here though instead, since he also links to his own account...

...and I don't want to come off as... I don't know... like I have to talk for my brothers, or whatever; since everybody can just talk to my brothers themselves, if they want to... or if my brothers want to.

I'm not thinking very clearly right now; my head feels weird, and I woke up, with sunlight in my face, and the window next to me is partially opened, so I had allergies... and I'm still not over the virus.

I haven't been working on artwork... actually, most of what I'm doing anymore, seems to be playing/talking online with friends, which is good, because it helps me feel better... like, me and my brothers, have been playing online via PSHome with Yvvi (and I still have to play RE5 again with Yv, but it seems we keep getting distracted... but that's okay. ^^;)

...I want to colour some Soul Calibur artwork, that I drew a while back; but haven't had time for it, plus because of feeling sick, I don't feel like it when I attempt to begin. :(

Same goes for writing manuscripts, I can't focus enough... but I did write a scene for the sci-fi novel that me, and my brothers, came up with the other day. The guys said they liked the scene, but I still would like it if they could help me re-write it (although, I'm normally going to be writing, and re-writing, scenes... that's mostly part of the reason I can't get my first chapter of a sideoff story of Magicus Quest finished... I keep re-writing every single little thing. -.-;), and Sam did come up with more things, relating to that scene... but I can't say anything further than that.

I also have to borrow Sam's orange binder, paper, and pencils; so that I can sketch my gift-art for myemolilteddybear... oh yeah, in case you're wondering; Sam lets me share his orange binder, because all my drawing things were ruined in... well, the incident... :(

I'm glad that Rob got a scanner, for birthday... since for the past year, a lack of a scanner, has been depressing us, and made us unmotivated to do anything with our site, let alone graphic novels... okay, that's not completely true; since we have written alot of the manuscripts, for different story arcs... and all that.

Actually, we still have to get back to working on the CTM-Studios homepage... I also have ideas for artwork, original artwork, I mean... since it seems I'm always only drawing fanart...

...sometimes, I'm just happy that people like my artwork; but then I stop, and think - do they really like my artwork, or is it because it's fanart, that they appreciate it?

That, however, is not aimed at any of my friends; because I know better than that - I'm talking about the others, who add me to watch, and just seem to only favourite everything... hmph... in other words, the ones I hardly ever talk with; plus, all the random stoppers-by, who favourite alot of things, too.

I, maybe, should focus a little more on original artwork... but I also would like it, if I could just find enough free time, to work on both my original works, and fan dedications... *sigh*

Honestly - the things I need to focus on most importantly, are the actual projects with my brothers, for our art group... Robert did say we should record for a music video later tonight; since it seems the grownups want to take us all out tonight... hm.

But anyways, that's good; because I've missed recording, and working on projects... I did download a 3D program earlier in the month, but never got around to working with it... plus, there's Sam's music studio installed, I could take up making music, too; with the guys.

Okayies... I guess I'll end this... other than everything stated above, I should also try playing more video games, too; but online play is too much fun... especially with my brothers, and Yvvi. ^_^

...oh yeah, people on PSHome Europe are alot nicer than the losers on PSHome USA, hah! And still have to check out PSHome Japan...

PS. I want to give Steven a big hug, because he's been so patient, and told me I can take a break from working on his request; until I sort everything else out... thankyou, Steven. :)

"A man veiled in mystery appears..."

...title is, of course, a reference to my master, Yoshi-san! ^___^

Anyways, I originally would have very much liked to have updated yesterday, on Friday the 13th; but unfortunately, I couldn't - first, MSN dialup kept acting up, whenever I was trying to (even acts up on the dA journals, too -_-;), then my left arm had spasms, and numbness... not very comfortable... so I decided to just give up, when MSN forced me to restart the bloody computer. :(

...then I decided to just listen to Tommy Shaw's music, and watched some Styx music videos, when Yv came online; and we got to talk. ^____^

Last night, Yv played online RE5 demo with my brothers; and it was so much fun! :D :D :D

I was supposed to practice today on RE5 demo, so that I could play with Yv, but shortly after waking up, and attempting to get to work, I ended up talking with Yv on AIM (and still am ^_^)... so, I'm probably not going to get around to colouring, 'cause the laptop moves slow with too many programs open; and I'd rather focus on talking right now (and updating my art blog finally!).

Finished art trades;
Magicus Quest: Steven Gayle - by Kitsune-Requiem
Prince of Persia: Elika - by Secret-x-Link

Magicus Quest: Tony - by DarthLexius
Shalie - by Secret-x-Link

Magicus Quest: Mitchi - by ClaudeC
Aerien - by Secret-x-Link

...I finished three out of four art trades, and am still colouring the last one for Aire-chan; plus, I also still have to draw myemolilteddybear's anime self with Juunanagou; as well as Steven's request for getting my 1027th pageview (but the sweetheart said I could wait on that, since he knows how busy I am - thanks Stevie! ^_______^).

Hum... hm.

Oh shoot... me, and my brothers, said we were going to write short stories for holidays now; but never got around to it (neither did our CTM writers, but that's okay - I actually made an "excuses" entry on the CTM-Studios team blog XD)... but I did write a cute slightly romantic scene, involving my SC created character, and Raphael Sorel (whom is my top crush, along with Darken Rahl - who's coming on tonight! YEE!!! ^______^).

...maybe I should post it on dA? Only thing is, I'm not sure if I got a certain French word right... hm... oh well, it's for this holiday - which I don't really care about - but I did say, and keep promising, I'd write SOMETHING. ^^;;;

...which reminds me, I wanted to write an article of sorts for Friday the 13th, since it's actually something of a, "Holy Day", in other religions, and in mythology. Hmph... well, I'll work on that; and publish it up here next month, which is also a Friday the 13th (then after that, not until November, will there be another Friday the 13th ^_____^)...

...yes, I love that day, it always seems to turn out to be a lucky day for me. :D ...yesterday wasn't the best, but we got to play online with a friend, and that rocks! ^________^

The only good thing about St. Valentine's Day is that we're having turkey for dinner, yay! :D

...

...erm... I forgot what I was going to type, oh well... anyways, I'm probably going to get around to borrowing some things from Mom, and typing up some things about Guardian Angels, plus the thirteen phases of the moon, since I'm sure some of my friends would be interested. ^_^

Argh... what a horrible night...

...I'm sick, and I think that a disturbance is going to resurface in the family again... *cries*

Anyways... just updating with artwork, and my progress, etc...

Statistic of Artworks for others...

Completed Art Trades

For me, from others.

Above are journals on dA that I keep, with information... yeah, just check them out to see what they are, since I'm not really in a good mood right now. :(

Two new sketches;





...as you can see, it's Sha-mitsu holding a lily, and below that one, is Sha-mitsu, following Yoshimitsu... my dA has more info on them...

Update on artwork...

Okayies, just posting the thumbnails for my half-finished art trades...

Aerien for ClaudeC;



ClaudeC's original character, whom is a teacher, methinks... umm... she came out looking more like a student, than a teacher. X_x ...originally, I was asked to draw her original character, Ki; but since he kind of bothered me... don't want to talk about it though... :( I asked if I could draw Aerien instead. ;P

Devil May Cry - Airezen x Vergil for PrincessAirezen;



Aire-chan's original character, Airezen, with her love, Vergil; from Devil May Cry video game series. ^_^ I'm not familar with the series, but ah well; after reading Aire-chan's fanfic, I'm interested in it though (and from what I read, when I checked up Vergil for reference pics). :D ...I'm pretty happy with this, and hope you like it, Aire-chan! ^_^ ...only thing I'm mostly upset with, is Vergil's right arm - the way he's holding her... I might try to do something about that, before I get around to colouring it... hm...

Also, here are the three newest Sorel sketches I did within the past week (the last one was done just last night);

Writer's Block


Amy-Chan


Raphael's Rose Garden


...you may read my comments about them over at deviantART. ;P

And I'm still working on Steven's Darken Gayle request, as well. ^^;

Gonna update later!

I promise I'll update my art blog+deviantART later tongiht, or early tomorrow; if I can wake up early. I feel rather sick, and stressed out; plus I have my period... argh... X_x

I finished up some drafts+lineart for my art trades, and a request... and I did a few quick sketches of the Sorels again (two of which are already up on dA, and a third one, which I did just tonight).

Okayies... umm... goodnight, until I update this again.

Art trades, works in progress...

Okay, I said I would work on the drafts, and tracing for the line artwork, for the requests/art trades; and I finally got around... to two of my art trades. ^^;

...then I went out to the store, with the whole family; except for Granny... and we even ate out at McDonald's, which was nice, since I was really hungry (I did eat an apple pie snack that Sergei bought for me, right before that, though ^^)...

...although, in the store, I was for sure I was going to have a panic attack; I just haven't been feeling well lately, and everything outside/at the store, just seems to be closing in on me - and all of that pressure frightens me... argh... it sucks to be me. :(

ANYWAYS... here are some previews for the art trades, so that DarthLexius, and Kitsune-Requiem know that I didn't forget them. ;)

The Prince of Persia: Elika (for Kitsune-Requiem);



I had fun drawing this, even though I'm not familar with this character; nor the games series all that well... well, I do remember some commercials, and my brother, Robert, actually had a copy of the game; but I think that went missing, or was destroyed, by the F-word a few months back... argh... anyways, I'm no good with drawing vines, and this looks... somewhat cartoony? since she has a really small, and slender, build in this image. :P

Shalie, for DarthLexius;



Shalie is an original character, whom belongs to DarthLexius - Lexy mostly wanted me to draw Shalie's Joker mask, and so, I drew Shalie in her Joker outfit... this image is alittle bigger than the usual size I use (general wallpapaer size... 1024 x 768)... and I'm really happy with how this came out. The mask, despite it's simplicity, is quite frightening in itself; my brother, Rob, glimpsed it, and was startled for a moment, before I told him what this was supposed to be of. ^^;

...hm, something random - while writing this journal entry, Momma came in to sit with me, to make sure I'm doing all right (also to pass time, while the guys are carrying stuff around the house... God, we still have alot to unpack... -_-;) - and anyways, I got around to showing Mom this music video of Darken Rahl that I downloaded, since I was telling her that I have a crush on Darken Rahl, and that he's the villain of the new television series, The Legend of the Seeker...

...heh heh, Mom said he was cute - but not her kind of cute (I made a face when she said that, so Mom made sure I knew what she meant, lol! ^^;) - and that it's only fun to play around with the idea of liking bad boys; but that if I do get married, to marry a good guy... like my brothers, or Uncle Joe (think Luke Skywalker)... lol! XD

I seriously doubt I'd ever get married, I'm really not even interested in dating at all - I'm more focused on my art, and working with my group... the few times I did bother liking a guy, he usually turned out to be a disappointment.

...

Argh! Mom keeps interrupting me... but now, with embarrassing baby photos! Argh... argh... argh... >_<;;

...I'm not seriously upset, it just amuses me... =P

...so... my response is playing Tommy Shaw as loud as possible at Mom, until Mom leaves, laughing, and smiling. XP

:)